Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
