dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize