he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
