Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
