I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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