do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
