But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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