She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize