so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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