Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
