the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
