i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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