hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
tell me about the eggs
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
