When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
