pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
