Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
oh god was she eating orange peels again
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Randomize
