I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
