How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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