Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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