areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
