I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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