Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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