Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize