so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
