Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
