I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
