if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
