i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
