Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
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