I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
