Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
