Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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