Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
