he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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