I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
