no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
