What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
