Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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