It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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