Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
