Sponge bath it is.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize