Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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