I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
