marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
A bitchslap is in order.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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