Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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