Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
