please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
