Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think people are normalizing furries
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
