just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize