yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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