i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
