Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
