I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize