you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
