So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
