Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
