he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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