So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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