I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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