When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
