My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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