Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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