Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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