Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize