Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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