No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
