I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
