Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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