i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
kristin has been a bad kristin
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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